It's weird standing at a stoplight waiting for the light to change. There's nothing to do for those 2 painstakingly long minutes but stare across the street from you. I try and imagine that the people across the street aren't staring at me. That the people across the street are pointing and smiling at things going on behind me. But it's hard imagining that when you can hear the crowd behind you whispering," Is that?...", "Oh my god! It really is him!" "He looks better on TV." People can be so unbelieveably rude, or ignorant. They think they own you after seeing you on the TV and reading about you in magazines over and over again. Knots in my stomach start to form. I exhale deeply and laugh a little to myself. You think I'd be used to this by now. I try to shrink behind my sunglasses. I want the light to change and I don't. I try and concentrate on my breathing. In...out...in...out...The light changes. Finally! For a second it seemed as if my legs had taken root to the asphalt. I willed them to join the rest of my body and made my way. I try not to make eye contact but smile courteously when a few people say "hi". As I continue what should have been a quick walk to the market, I grow increasingly aware of the stares and whispers around me. I continue smiling as I walk, afraid that if I stop smiling, someone will snap a photo of me and I'll end up on the afternoon tabloids as being an asshole. It used to not be like this. It used to not be this hard. I used to actually enjoy getting all this attention. But I'm only human and I've had my share of being in the spotlight...
